Acknowledging Mom's Sacrifice

I never fully understood just how much work a mother does, just how much of herself, her time, etc she gives up for her children until I had kids of my own. It saddens me that just as I was really starting to understand my mother better than I ever had before, just as we were really becoming best friends because we finally understood each other - she was taken from me.

I have missed my mom and appreciated just how much she did for all of us, especially the past couple of weeks. This weekend, especially has been miserable for me as I came down with a nasty cold complete with sore throat, head ache, congestion and body aches. I spent most of yesterday either in bed or on the futon staring aimlessly at Christmas Television specials, a tribute to just how bad I was feeling. Usually when I'm sick I like to indulge my passion for reading, but my head has hurt so badly and my eyes have stung so much that the only thing I was able to force my way through was a chapter in the Bible and a short chapter in a prayer book. Today I felt awful too, missing church AGAIN as well as my oldest daughter's singing debut at the Christmas Singing program tonight at church. Despite my misery I still went to my Dad's and helped decorate a tree, baked a cake and corn pudding for my grandfather's birthday tomorrow, fed my son and got him to bed, collected, sorted and started laundry and did all of the dishes for the past two days. It's insane that I would push myself to do all of that when I feel so yucky, horrible, but my family needs me. What else was I to do?

It isn't just the being sick though, it's the craziness of the holidays. First it was Thanksgiving dinner. Now it is wrapping gifts, getting teach gifts together, sending Christmas cards and baking about a zillion cookies. I've already made 4 kinds and somehow I need to make two more large batches for a school Christmas party and Women's Christmas evening, both of them on Wednesday. Oh and did I mention we're going to be gone all day Tuesday? How did my mother do it all?

Okay, she didn't do it all. She often paid extra shipping to get packages to out of town family on time. She usually had me helping with cookies and one year the sugar cookies didn't get iced until New Years when she gave the task to my brother and sister-in-law (then his girlfriend), a scary prospect considering most of the little cookie people ended up with huge red cinnamon eyes. Mom's presents were never under the tree until Christmas morning. She stayed up half the night on Christmas eve, wrapping gifts and doing stockings and even then half her gifts didn't have tags. She got to the point where she threw most things in a bag because it was faster, easier and she could peek under the tissue paper if she forgot what the gift was or who it was for!

But despite her inability to provide all the Christmas amenities in a perfect manner, she had what really mattered...a loving heart, a listening ear, a giving spirit. She was always finding ways to help people who needed it during the holidays. She knew that the real meaning of Christmas was not about tinsel or parties or gifts or cookies or gourmet meals, but about a tiny baby born in Bethlehem who came to save us all. She lived her life, giving and sacrificing in joy and gratefulness for what her saviour had done for her. I can only hope to achieve her level of sacrifice some far distant day in the future. So thanks, Mom, thanks for everything. I miss you and I love you and Christmas is so much harder without you, but I won't forget the things you taught me and hopefully they will make my Christmas season a little easier this year.