6 Months

Yesterday (last night) was the six month anniversary of the crash. That means today was the six-month anniversary of the worst day of my life. I managed the day better than expected, though last night was a long and exhausting one full of bad memories, anxiety and inability to sleep. A fussy, teething baby certainly didn't help, but was not the main cause. Today I managed to not think too much about it...no major reliving of flashbacks, though certain details here and there have come to mind. We visited Mom today at the hospital...there are none of the remnants of the crash...the cuts and bruising, her shattered knee, and yet she looks much less like herself than she did the morning after the crash. She still looked like Mom then. Today it struck me how much she looked like someone or something else, almost flat or deflated, a two dimensional version of the warm, loving, vibrant 3 dimensional person she used to be. Gosh darn it, I miss her, even now though the pain isn't so sharp, the endless, dull, ache still thuds deep down in my being.