The Family Curse...

...is not sleeping. It's 5:45 in the morning and I finally gave up. I've been awake since 4:30 when my2 1/2 year old, who was sleeping on the floor of our room due to nightmares, rolled under the bed and woke me up crying with, "Mommy, I'm stuck!" She went back to sleep, I did not.

I wish I could blame the accident etc for my lack of sleep and while it does contribute to the problem, it isn't solely to blame. My family genetics seem to have a mutant gene when it comes to sleep. I'm a light sleeper and when I'm forced to get out of bed during the night, it's a toss up whether I'll be so exhausted I'll crash again or if my brain will engage and start racing all over the place in a haphazard and dizzying fashion. It is maddening to be awake for no reason when I'm already so tired so much of the time and it only serves to undermine my patience, my ability to function and my emotional well-being.

This is a good time though. While I may have tossed and turned restlessly for over an hour I didn't work myself into a panic, experience flashbacks or start crying. My head aches fiercely, but lately that's been happening a lot. I don't know if my lack of "freaking" is a result of time and healing or just that my general lack of sleep (dues mainly to kids and trying to accomplish too much) has dulled my brain to the point where it is limited in it's ability to go into overdrive. Either way I'm at least grateful for that.