Easter

The bulbs I planted last fall at my mother's grave are in bloom, at least the crocuses and daffodils are. The tulips and hyacinths will bloom in a little while. The kids and I placed and extra batch of cut daffodils in the "vase" at the headstone on Friday and the whole family stopped by on our way to church yesterday. It seems unfair to have to start Easter morning that way, but we needed to do it and at least it was pretty with the flowers and the the weather was warm and sunny so at least there wasn't a feeling of impending doom or something.

Despite my nursery committee duties I managed to make it through most of the Easter service (though I missed part of the sermon taking the girls to the bathroom) and the only minor mishap was the loss of one of our pagers. Though I didn't particularly enjoy spending the whole of the fellowship time after service crawling around on the floor of the auditorium looking for it and walking up and down listening for it as it was paged over and over, it was rather minor compared to all the things that could have happened. The weather was beautiful and we didn't even need sweaters in the morning, a first in the history of Easter around here.

After a brief, light, lunch, we headed to my dad's which is where I had the first inkling that maybe this was going to be harder than I thought. The preparation of dinner fell soley on my shoulders with my husband watching the kids and my dad helping with things like setting the table, putting lawn furniture out for people outside and working on clean-up. None of the kids took a nap. L had fallen asleep briefly in nursery and that killed his nap prospects. The other two were just too worked up, tough at least the kids were able to spend the afternoon running around the backyard in shorts and t-shirts while I baked two cakes and rolls, heated the ham and made three side dishes. The food prep went better than expected and all was pretty much served on time, but I was tired from being on my feet and getting no nap. I did have to take a couple breaks where I sat and waited for thinks to bake or cook or snipped beans or whatever needed to be waited for at the time.

It was after dinner that all started to head south. L had taken a late, during dinner nap and woke up freaking out, something he never really stopped doing until later after he'd had a long bath at home and been laid down in his crib for the second attempt at bedtime. The girls were so wound up from the sugar that they couldn't stop bouncing off the walls and couldn't even follow simple directions. I was tired and I think my dad was frustrated by all the end work of the meal that I ended up not being able to help with because of dealing with the kids. C had to oversee and ended up doing 2/3 of the pick up of all the mess they'd made while playing after dinner. I left feeling tired, discouraged and down and cried half of the way home.

I know that my hormones and emotions play a big role in how I perceive everything, as does this horrible lack of sleep. I'm tired of waking up like this during the night and being unable to sleep and losing hours of my precious sleep time to tossing, turning, and agonizing over various things since my mind refuses to shut down. Still, I just can't help but feel that things wouldn't have been this way if Mom had been around. I think having P and A would have helped too, but they are still half-way across the country.

Happy Easter to all. I hope it was a happier and an easier one than mine.